Why New Year’s Resolutions So Often Fail

(And How We Can Do Things Differently Now)

January has a certain energy to it.

A sense of starting again.
Of wanting things to feel easier, lighter, healthier.

But for many of us — especially as we move through our 50s and beyond — the old approaches don’t seem to work in quite the same way anymore. What we could push through in our 20s and 30s now feels harder. Recovery takes longer. Life is fuller. Our bodies and nervous systems ask for something different.

Recently, I listened to a podcast by Kevin English, and much of what he shared really resonated — particularly around why so many well-intentioned resolutions quietly fall away.

Not because we don’t care.
Not because we lack discipline.
But because we’re relying on things that simply aren’t endless wells.

Willpower, discipline and motivation aren’t infinite

One line from Kevin stayed with me:

“Willpower isn’t something you can rely on forever — it runs out.”

This feels especially true as we get older. We’re often juggling more — work, family, health, caring roles, mental load — and expecting willpower or motivation to carry us indefinitely just isn’t kind or realistic.

Motivation comes and goes.
Discipline fluctuates.
Energy changes day to day.

That doesn’t mean change isn’t possible. It just means we need a different approach.

Why structure matters more than force

Rather than asking ourselves to try harder, Kevin spoke about the importance of structure — putting simple systems in place so we don’t have to rely on motivation at all.

“The people who succeed aren’t more motivated — they’ve just made the habit easier to repeat.”

This ties beautifully into the ideas from Atomic Habits by James Clear. He reminds us that lasting change rarely comes from big, dramatic efforts. It comes from small actions done consistently, supported by the environment and routines around us.

Not heroic effort.
Not all-or-nothing thinking.
Just gentle repetition.

Why what worked before doesn’t always work now

Many of us were taught to push, override tiredness, and “just get on with it.” And for a while, that may have worked.

But as we age, our nervous system often asks for more care. Stress affects us differently. Recovery matters more. And habits built on pressure can start to feel exhausting rather than supportive.

This is where structure becomes an act of kindness.

Instead of:

“I must do everything perfectly”
“I’ve failed if I miss a day”

We shift towards:

“What’s the smallest version of this I can return to?”
“What supports me when life feels full?”

A hopeful way forward

Kevin put it simply:

“Consistency comes from doing less — but doing it more often.”

That idea holds a lot of hope.

It means you don’t need to overhaul your life in January.
You don’t need endless motivation.
You don’t need to rely on willpower that runs dry.

You just need a few steady structures — things that fit this stage of your life, your energy, your body, your real days.

Change doesn’t have to be loud or punishing.
It can be quiet, compassionate, and deeply effective.

And perhaps that’s the most important shift of all.

With love

Maxine

Why New Year’s Resolutions So Often Fail